Thoughts From Pastor Lloyd Pulley

Open the eyes of my heart
Do you have a close friend that can name something in you that you share repeatedly, exhorting others about and emphasize that others lack but that you yourself often fail to live up to?

As I was reflecting this morning in reading John 13 about Jesus washing the disciples feel, it hit me that the bane of teachers is sharing those things not yet fully accomplished in themselves.

How does this happen?  For the Apostle Paul taught in Romans 15:18, "For I will not dare to speak of any of those things which Christ has not accomplished through me, in word and deed..." 

How I wish I could honestly say this.  However, as I was meditating this morning on these passages, I remembered things years ago that my pastor would emphasize and how I wondered why he seemed to have difficulty with those things he so vehemently exhorted others to do.  Then it hit me.  Do I do the same?   Uhhh  yes I believe I do, though not purposely. 

Apparently when I receive something in my reading that the Holy Spirit convicts me of I am truly excited about it.  Since I teach twice a week, there is often not sufficient time for it to be worked in me and the excitement I have about this "word from the Lord for me" turns into a part of my prepared message for others. I then find myself actually substituting being excited about this exhortation to me for the actually working it out in my life.

Many others do this on another scale where in being convicted about something they can find many others failing to meet that standard and they substitute exhorting others for that which they themselves are lacking.

So my prayer is, that I may recognize those areas the Lord is dealing with me and not just turn them into a teaching for others. 

Interestingly, just this morning my wife Karen passed on a tidbit that she heard this morning on The Bridge by Pastor Skip Heitzig. He shared about a study on SELF ESTEEM conducted among college students.  It revealed that those students who rated themselves kind, cheerful, and warm were actually the most hostile, cold and unkind.  The conclusion is that those who had the highest self esteem were the most offensive.  Hmmm, thinking, Lord help me!

Isn't self knowledge difficult to have?  We all need to pray, "Lord, open the eyes of my heart."

Pastor Lloyd




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