Pastor Lloyd

Pastoring Your Family

On Father’s Day, I shared an excerpt of a piece written by a member of our fellowship, Rob Blanda.  In it, Rob exhorts fathers not only to be great dads, but to also consider themselves the pastors of their families.  He encourages dads to remain in sweet fellowship with the Lord and to remember to disciple, and not just discipline, their children.   Here’s an excerpt of the piece, and Lord willing Rob will have copies available at CCOB sometime soon!

EXCERPTS FROM:  PASTOR OF MY FAMILY- MY KIDS
By Rob Blanda

When things are going well in life, we often tend to fall asleep. We get caught up in the busyness of life, going from one thing to the next. We have work to do, kids to drive somewhere, teams to coach, things to do. It never seems to end and it all seems to get even busier. 

As fathers, many of us think that what’s most important in life is to just provide a stable family environment along with good things for our kids like toys, games, sports, and education.  BUT FATHERS NEED TO BE THE PASTORS OF THEIR FAMILIES.

If you haven’t been doing much (and that’s probably most of us), this is not meant to judge you in any way (trust me, I am my harshest critic), but is meant to exhort and encourage you to WAKE UP, redeem & make good use of your time, have an eternal perspective, cast off sin, put on the armor of God, walk properly, and live for Jesus. (Read Romans 13:11-14.)

Time is so short. Even if we live to be 80, most of us are more than halfway there or getting there. Of course, there is no guarantee that we will live even past today. But we have wives to lead, kids to raise in the Lord, and people all around us who need to know Jesus. 

I can think of very few more important things than pastoring our children. God has entrusted them in our care for such a short time. Before we know it, they will be out of the house finding their own way, making their own decisions, dealing with the issues and pressures of life.

So how can I be the pastor of my kids?    

First, I need to be in fellowship with the Lord. This involves spending alone time with God by praying & reading my Bible.  Just going to church each Sunday will not cut it.  The personal time we have with the Lord is crucial for equipping us for the work that the Lord has set before us, including raising our kids.  

We are bombarded each day with sexual images in the media, sound bites of ungodliness like greed and personal gain, and many other forms of paganism.  Therefore, we continually need to have our hearts and minds transformed into His image on a daily basis.  Otherwise, we will unwittingly become just like any other person who doesn’t know Jesus- lustful, greedy, and selfish.

Fathers need to disciple their kids, not just manage them and their behavior. 

Most fathers tend to react rather than disciple. The focus is usually on dealing with problems after they arise instead of instilling biblical principles into our kids to help them deal with issues before they arise. For example, a child may get her feelings hurt when a friend at school no longer wants to be her friend because she has a new friend. The “reactionary” father will get upset telling his child that the friend was wrong and shouldn’t have treated her that way. He might even seek out the friend’s parents to express his displeasure. However, the child who already has been taught that Jesus loves her, is her best friend, and will never abandon her has a foundation to fall back on when she gets hurt. She will in all likelihood be upset and hurt by her school friend’s cold shoulder; however, the pastoral father will lovingly remind her that regardless of the circumstances, Jesus loves and cares for her. He will tell her that even Jesus was abandoned by His family and closest friends, betrayed, and even disavowed by one of His closest disciples, Peter. 

God tells us clearly in His Word that we are to “train” our children in His ways.

“Train” means to “teach a person a skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time.”  It is not enough for the father to give words of advice to his son or daughter.  He must train the child by teaching him about what God says regarding all of life’s issues.  This needs to become a way of life and not just a Bible study that we have with them on occasion.  Deuteronomy 6:7 says to teach God’s word “diligently to your children, and [you] shall talk of them [God’s word] when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (emphasis mine)  Honestly, how many of us teach God’s word to our kids at all, let alone do it diligently?

The following are some of the things that I have found helpful in training my children. (Please click onto the entire text to review this section) 

Of course, our kids have a free will and will make their own choices throughout their lives.  Although there is no guarantee that they will become Christians and/or walk with the Lord (just like we have made our own choices in life), for us to not follow the biblical mandate of training our kids in God’s ways is plain and simple disobedience to God.  We cannot take this responsibility lightly.  Before we know it, our kids will no longer be under our care and it will be too late to train them. 

The world we live in today is getting increasingly darker as God/Jesus and Christian principles are not allowed or mentioned in our schools, courts, or even in retail stores. No longer do people say “Merry Christmas” but rather, “Happy Holidays.”  Christianity has been absorbed into political correctness.

Our kids do and will face unprecedented resistance, opposition, and animosity towards God and the Christian principles that we hold dear.  We can leave them with a legacy of biblical principles to guide them or let them fend for themselves.  My hope and my prayer is that godly, Christian men will rise up against the tide, answer the call, and truly train their children in the Lord.  Will you engage in this biblical mandate and join me in pastoring our children?  You will be blessed as you see your children connect with God and live the life He has called them to live.  And in the end, our God and Father will say to you and to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” 


Copyright 2009 By Robert A. Blanda, Jr.